Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Serious lack of self discipline

The course I have embarked on recommends that I write something everyday no matter how silly or significant it is. Just to 'sharpen' those writing skills. In itself, it makes sense and is a wonderful idea. But what happens when you just seem to 'dry out'?

Since I have started the course, I have managed to post once, maybe twice on this blog which would obviously be the perfect place to 'sharpen' those writing skills of mine (assuming I have any). But I can't seem to find either the inspiration or the will to do it. I don't know why. It's nothing to do with the course I am sure. I am one of those 'impulse' writers. I just put pen to paper and write what I feel like writing. It's not because I am trying to focus on what I write or the way I write it. So what the hell is it? Arghhh, it really annoys me.

Is it because there aren't enough hours in the day? I don't think so either. My body decided last night that there were more than enough hours in the day. For some strange and unexplained reason, I could not fall asleep. That is very out of character for me, even if I desperately want to watch something, if my body is tired, I can't help but 'rest' my eyes. But last night? No way. I couldn't fall asleep. Could it be that I was too taken by the 'Girl with the Dragon Tattoo' which I am reading at the moment and admit that I can't really put down? Could be, but the fact that I love the book didn't stop my eyes from itching and closing the nights previous. So what the hell was it? No idea.

Is it because Noelie takes a lot of time and attention during the day? Not even that. Since she is walking by herself, I have a new found freedom. She doesn't need me to hold her hand for hours on end, walking around the house in circles. She just goes where she wants to go whenever she wants to go there. She is also a big fan of 'In the Night Garden' and will happily sit in front of Cbeebies (I know isn't that evil and bad of me to let her sit in front of the TV watching people in costumes who can't express themselves properly jump up and down) in the evening while I or Mr Foodie get dinner ready.

Is it because I am cooking or baking too much? Not really, practice makes perfect (or so they say) and, despite baking my own bread nearly everyday, I think I have nailed it and as the name implies, it does really only take me 5 minutes to do it. As for cakes, cookies and the likes, it doesn't really take that much time and Marie helps. I admit that sitting in front of the oven watching cakes or bread rise somewhat magically is not a great way to free up time but I embarrassingly admit that I do sit in front of the oven and also the washing machine, especially on a coloured wash, it is just amazing! Beats watching TV anytime, and is seriously not half as depressing as watching the news these days.

So why the hell, can I not manage to have a bit of self discipline and sit down and blog everyday (or nearly everyday)? That remains a mystery.

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